How Fear Saved My Life PART ONE

Fear Saved My Life

Now that we have learned a little bit more of how the brain works. And more specifically how fear works in the brain now we are able to have a more in depth look about how fear aka ego operates.  I don’t want to leave people thinking fear is a bad thing necessarily, only when imbalanced. If you did not catch my first blog where I talk about fear and the brain. Here is a link

Today I am going to share with you a very personal story about how fear saved my life.


Is Fear A Possession?

First let’s think for a moment, if I was to call fear a possession, how many of you would that make uncomfortable? With how humans use word association, people think possession refers to evil spirits. something unnatural or some earthly object (house, car, lover). If we look at the literacy of the word and what it LITERALLY means, it makes a lot more sense. When I ask people to tell me what they think a possession is, they will often say something like ” a possession is something that you own, something that is yours”. When we look at the definition of the word it is the state of having, owning, or controlling. Now we do not see how in reality we don’t actually own our possession, they actually own and control us. Fear is the same way. We can have a possession of fear, where fear is in control of out mind and body! When it does takes over, we are almost literally possessed by it.

Fear starts with trauma

Fear always starts with your first trauma. Trauma we can refer to as a transfer of negative energy from one person to another.

When someone is hurting they do 1 of 3 things…

  1. They either find someone/something to release the energy on to in forms of physical, emotional and mental abuse.
  2. They hurt themselves in a variety of ways, a few examples would be drug use, self-harm i.e. cutting, or abusive relationships. 
  3. They desperately seek to save anyone who may experience the suffering they have experienced.

When I get so angry and I hit you, i am transferring my low vibration pain/negative energy to you. And because we crave balance , you will need to release this emotion/energy somehow someway. At some point i will go over very healthy and constructive ways to release this build up of emotion. What happens when you do not release this  energy within you is that it builds and recycles itself until you release in way that severely hurts you or someone else. That someone is often the person closest to you, even your pet. When dealing with abuse, the volumes of fear/pain we intake is much higher than what people can  process thus causing the split. When you are possessed by fear you go into what we call a fear cycle, where you keep cycling the energy within you. This can manifest its self in 3 different ways. When too high of an amplification is taken in some will immediately go into perpetrator mode where they start immediately taking this energy out on other people. The next cycle is victim mode where these people constantly end up in relationships where they are the ones being hurt again and again. Because this energy is within us, we attract it. So victim mentality will always attract a perpetrator. What is too hard to see in the moment that when we hurt someone we are really hurting ourselves so the victim is actually the perpetrator and vise versa. The next form of fear cycle is called savior mode, while this can be a good thing because we don’t want people to suffer it also has its dangers. As we know when we are not balanced and you put more energy into helping people than energy you put into self, the imbalance will exhaust you and leave you with no energy. So what we know about people is that hurt people hurt people including themselves. Now that we can understand that logically I will give you some examples.

Exhibit A : a little boy gets brutally abused sexually and physically, which happens more than we’d like to admit. The boy takes in a very high level of negative energy in this experience. He is told not to tell anyone or they will kill his mother. We know how such trauma will automatically cause an imbalance in the brain. This little boy then starts to act out his trauma in an completely misguided way to process the pain. Its starts with his little sister, he will reenact his trauma with her thus transferring his negative energy onto her he may hit her to keep her quiet about the sexual abuse. He grows up to have children who he also does this too. He gets drunk to numb the pain he feels then comes home and takes it out not only on his wife but also his children. This is what is known as the perpetrator mode.

Exhibit B: Lets look at the little sister in exhibit A. She took in a high transfer of pain/negative energy but not as brutal or intense that her brother had experienced.  She grows ups to be involved in one abusive relationship after the other. She ends reliving her same traumatic experience out with various partners along the way who have their own energy cycle they are dealing with. We attract people with similar energy within them as a way of mirroring each other to eventually come to peace with this pain and grow. However it is not so simple and sometimes takes years to be come to awareness of what you are doing, and by this time you now how a whole new set of trauma and bottled up emotion from the experience. This cycle is known as victim mode.

Exhibit C: The abused little boy grew up to be a very violent and abusive man. He had a little boy, who watched all the pain his father inflicted upon his mother, his older brother, and even himself. As his way of dealing with such high levels of pain around him not always directed at him but to the ones he holds dearest he vows to never be his father. Instead he makes a life out of desperately trying to save anyone who could be going through this suffering. He finds himself surrounded by people in pain and he allows plays the role of trying to rescue these people from all their pain. Savior mode is also a painful cycle because as humans we cannot save everyone. We can only greatly impact the ones closest to us and sometimes even their fear is too great that there is not much that can be done for someone who refuses to hear or see truth.

 Now that we have seen how the cycle of fear is perpetuated from person to person, we now know the importance of processing all the emotion within our being. We cannot further demonize people for their lack of love and guidance.  All we can do is offer up love to these hurting souls while also maintaining healthy boundaries so we do not find ourselves becoming victims. If you have found yourself in either one of these fear cycles. Have no fear there is always a way out. Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness of self, and forgiveness of others is the most essential part of transmutation otherwise known as integration of self. This is a whole topic though that I must save for another day. Since we understand more about how fear cycles can possess a human I can now share my very own personal experience with trauma and fear.

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